June 5, 2014:

Your socks don’t match. I like your Facebook post. You look really tired today.

Life is full of critiques and thoughtless compliments. Even from those closest to us. They vary from the simplest of things, to those deeper observations about our opinions and conduct that burn a little more. When I write to you all, it’s best to pretend that I’m doing so in a vacuum, never knowing what will come back my way. Even with my best interest in mind (I imagine), I’ve gotten feedback that what I send is too negative, or that it’s unoriginal and often based off of others’ ideas, or even that I don’t do it frequently enough—as I promised I would in the beginning. There’s also a rare silence that comes too—when we say something out loud and are left to infer what others are thinking.
Oh, but how nice to remember that life is not about appeasing everyone you meet. It’s taken me a long time to learn that lesson. What once was a courageous moment—that is, quitting my job suddenly to move to Colorado solo and follow an ambition that may fall flat in the face of criticism or rejection—now feels routine. Too many days I forget that I came here with a purpose: to produce a thing of honesty that holds meaning for me. Sometimes that doesn’t sound like enough. Actually, most days I convince myself that my time is better spent reviewing the most recent episode of Mad Men. But I know that’s just a lie I tell because spectator commentary is a whole lot easier. And I suppose there’s already enough circulating chatter, even when I keep my mouth shut.

Did this newsletter suck? Was it a downer? Probably. But on an entirely separate note, that shirt you’re wearing looks really good on you. It really brings out your eyes.

By Abigail Ronck, from Diamonds in the Dustheap

See more posts