May 1, 2014:

There is this circulating truth that it’s near impossible to make best friends after, say, age 30. A wonderful article in The New York Times reminds us that our childhood ideals of friendship, inspired by “The Godfather” (and maybe a movie with less murder like “Now and Then”), start to seem unachievable with new people. We leave college or our first job and external conditions change—”It becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other… .”

I read this article some time ago, but it still resonates, reminding me that I’m glad I found you early on. And that sometimes I miss the old nearness of suburbia and seeing Bridget Malit and Kathleen Hess in the high school hallways. And that the best nights in college were the ones I ran into Taku Noguchi at the Grad Center Bar and we got bored and decided it’d be more fun to watch TV at his apartment. I miss late nights with Rachael Dillon Fried in our dorm room, when the light was just right for telling secrets; and spontaneous motorcycle rides with Demond Jordan along the beaches of Los Angeles during our lunch breaks, when it always felt okay to admit, “I needed that.”
Maybe today’s newsletter is nothing more than a cliché reminder to Jenn Chen to blast some Phil Collins and dance around once in a while like we used to at work. Or to Emily Gates, to continue to pass along the brilliantly phrased questions her daughter asks, like, “Mom, how does the sky know when to get dark?” Just a little note to say: Stay near; let’s run into each other and lay bare something real.

By Abigail Ronck, from Diamonds in the Dustheap

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